The Hard Truth of Expendability

Why it’s good to know that none of us are irreplaceable.

None among us are irreplaceable, to begin with. There is no doubt whatever about that.¹

I have resigned from enough jobs over the past several decades to know this. And especially earlier in my career, I was always shocked when the walls remained standing following my departures. It took longer than necessary to realize I was not, in fact, the only candidate able to do the work I was charged with doing. In most cases my successors were hired in mere weeks — and truth be told, as far as I could tell, many of them were perfectly good candidates.

As a younger human, this was admittedly devastating to my ego, but it was healthy to learn by experience.

The above is a hard-yet-undeniable truth that many of us have an understandably difficult time acknowledging. It can be helpful to realize that one of the reasons might be our personal shadows — those which lurk unseen, or below the surface.

Knowing these corners of ourselves is an enlightening, powerful part of our own journeys in life, at work, and beyond. It begs being inwardly curious and looking in the mirror, which I’m afraid is an underutilized skill — and certainly an underutilized practice — by far too many of us.

Kesler directs us towards two distinct shadows which can prevent such personal clarity: martyring and caretaking.² Martyrs suffer by making personal well-being a secondary priority, while caretakers try to avoid conflict by letting others overstep boundaries.

It’s fairly easy to fall victim to these two shadows, especially in professional and organizational life — I’ve been guilty of both, many times. I believed if I stretched beyond my comfort zone — if I gave…

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