Cognitive Bias

One of the most frustrating things about my personal growth has been my inability to pass it on.

I know something, it is fresh in mind and yet I have a hard time to share my experience. I’m not expecting anyone else to be able to apply precisely the same template to their life. Still, in my heart, I know that I have a solid framework that the world could benefit from.

Growth seems to be a puzzle. You gather bits and pieces here and there. Then you put them next to each other, look at how they might fit together, and do your best to solve it.

Many times we have all the right pieces, and yet we can’t find a way to put it together. For me, it was always lack of perspective that held me back.

Recently, however, I have been able to change my perspective even in the heat of an argument. It can be hard when the lizard brain is telling fictive stories about the situation, and we are completely overpowered by the chimp on our shoulders. It is possible, though, to change the direction and avoid a train wreck.

I’d like to quantify it and pay it forward, but I’ve had minimal success so far.

I have had success on a few occasions, and I’ve been equally baffled every time. My beautiful wife serves as a Guinea pig for the time being.

I swear I felt like I did the same thing many times, trying to offer some perspective. This one time it just clicks, and she takes the Boeing 747 two minutes before it does a nosedive the ground and gets it flying again.

I’m not taking any credit for it but somehow, something I said connected to her control function, and it is like she snaps out it, exorcises the demon, finds herself or whatever you want to call it.

Most of the time, I fail, though. There is a big target at that moment. I know what to do but can’t enable her to level with me. I aim, shoot, and miss completely. Often I am too direct, too blunt, and my message completely lacks finesse.

It is definitely a cognitive bias in play for me. I know what the solution should be, but I apply it to the wrong problem. The problem isn’t: ”how can I get her there”. The problem is: ”how can I help her get herself there”.

Related posts:

Mujer colgando de una cuerda (Woman Hanging from a Rope, PorNos, 2017), the first novel by young Chilean writer Fe Orellana, is a postmodern neopolicial, centering around Beatriz, a journalist from…

As the Covid-19 outbreak continues more and more countries are being locked down. Social distancing is becoming a norm. And one of the important things is that we are trying to avoid human…

O aplicativo ficou bastante conhecido devido os pagamentos para os novos cadastrados, o app oferece 10 reais para novos usuários que entrem utilizando um código. Além disso é o aplicativo funciona…