Why I Abandoned My YouTube Channel

the mental strain and stress it caused weren’t worth it

When it comes to being a ̶c̶o̶n̶t̶e̶n̶t̶ ̶c̶r̶e̶a̶t̶o̶r̶ human, there should always be a balance of work and rest. A balance that draws a line between the two and says, “Hey, you aren’t to interfere with this.” But for the past months, I have slowly erased the line and let work become more essential than my rest, which has begun to take a toll on my mental health.

This isn’t all my fault.

I have a responsibility to uphold. I have to go to my job, otherwise, I can’t afford a roof over my head and food. So, I go work 10-hour shifts, come home and sleep for 6 hours, and wake up to do it all again.

And when I’m not working, I am trying to achieve a passive income so I won’t have to work.

Ironically, I am working when I am not at work.

But I didn’t label YouTube as work, I couldn’t label this passion of mine “work.”

In January, I came up with the idea of starting a new YouTube channel. It was late at night, and I was on my phone, curled in bed envying other creators' success. I could sugarcoat it, I could explain why I felt this way, but to put it simply, I was jealous.

my content is better.

they upload the same videos.

why do people watch this?

this editing sucks.

I found one channel and I told myself I could execute their content so much better.

And that's what I attempted to do.

As I said earlier, I began to work outside of work.

On my off days, I sat in front of my computer at 10 am and didn’t stop until 7 am. I was fueled by the belief that the channel was going to perform just as well, if not better than other creators in the niche.

I was also fueled by the thought of the channel bringing in enough money so that I would never work again.

A nice thought.

And I would remind myself that I was closer after every upload.

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