Score Keeping

Do you keep score? Are you one of those people who remember every little bruise, insult and injury? Do you sometimes begin a thought with, “Maybe I should” and end it with, “not if he doesn’t …”

You are a score keeper. There are only two kinds of people in this world, score keepers and people who say they are not score keepers. There is rumored to be a third category of people called “reformed score keepers”, but having been one, I know the truth about them. They don’t exist.

Score keeping destroys relationships. First you find yourself resentful. “He said he was going to … and he didn’t.” or “She said she would … but she doesn’t.” Such phrases are usually followed closely by, “and I’ll be damned if I’m going to … until he/she does what they said they would do.” And we are off to the races.

You decide to show you are aggravated but having a simple “airing out” of the matter is much too easy and not nearly confusing enough. Instead maybe you will just push that little button there and that will show her. She doesn’t like it when you do that and after a little while she decides to push back. Does she just look you straight in the eye and call you out for misbehaving? Naw, the score keeping game is way too much fun for that. She just pushes back hard enough to make him realize that she doesn’t care if he is upset.

Game on! You can keep this little game going for years if you play it right. You can literally keep it going until the divorce or one of you dies from one of the many health issues that result from bitterness and discontent.

And all you ever had to do was just stop keeping score and do what you knew you should do in the first place. Just do that and the person you are playing the game with will quickly figure out you aren’t such a bad person after all.

Live well.

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